T Time

So I must admit, I am an absolutely hopeless romantic. I’ll be the first to admit it. You see, I believe that God has a Prince Charming for me. And I believe in the magic of first kisses. (Which is why I’m saving mine). But it’s not just that. It makes me extraordinarily happy to see other people in love and so happy. Like my beloved Rebecca (Skittles) and her Clay (Kirby). You see, Rebecca is my big sister. Not really, but you know what I mean. I love her to death and she has been through a lot with that. She’s also put up with a lot, I was kind of annoying when I was younger. And I’m just hoping that’s not true anymore so now one had better dash my hopes… Anyways, in exactly two weeks (well two weeks if you consider the fact that it’s nearly tuesday as I type this) she and Clay will have been courting for four years. (I think, if I did the math correctly. It was the Valentine’s Day of my Freshman year of highschool if you care to double check that.) And in August, I believe it’s 200 days from now by her count, she will actually take his name and they will promise to spend the rest of their lives together. And this makes me immensely happy. So very immensely happy that it was all I could do to contain my excitement over her announcement that she bought her dress today. (I’ll have you know that the day she called they were engaged I spent several long minutes screaming into a pillow afterwards I was so excited.) It makes me so happy that I’m sure how to express it. But seeing her so happy, seeing them together and so happy, well it sort of rubs off on you. So anyways, yeah just thought I’d confess to being a hopeless romantic who believes happily ever after exists. And I can’t wait to watch Rebecca and Clay start on that particular journey together.

SweetTart friends

*sigh* It’s over. A year ago today I was super excited, in less than 24 hours it would be my graduation year! And now, in seven and a half hours it will be over. It’s been a wonderful year, full of many firsts and lasts. I did the last things I would ever do in highschool this spring and the first I would ever do in college this fall. But the best things that happened this year were the things I couldn’t have expected. This really amazing guy asked to court me (and I said yes). One of my best friends in the whole world got engaged. (as did a few other friends) A dear friend from Kentucky gave birth to her first baby. And then there are the amazing friends I made at school. Special shout outs go to my awesome Roomate and my wonderful BCM sister! Then there’s stuff like discovering I actually know how to draw, spending a week in the mountains with my Best Friend and my Cushion, and working at the barn all spring and summer, being on 4H state counsil and helping run midwinter. So yes, 2011 was just as wonderful of a year as it promised to be, but not necessarily for the reasons I thought it would be. Because yes, prom, graduation, starting college and all that was amazing. THey were all huge milestones in my life, but in the end those aren’t the events that matter. Those aren’t the moments I cherish. It’s the stuff like riding the giant swing at the 4H center or floating down the river for the thousandth time and later dressing up as the mad hatter. It’s being a punk fairy with my best friend and our sisters and Ms. T’s girls. It’s sitting on the quad with a desktop computer up and running or watching Once Upon a Time in the dorms. It’s  playing Laser tag with my senior class, or ultimate frisbee with the BCM. It’s owning Jess at tetris and her owning me at mario cart. It’s sitting next to my boyfriend and just talking. It’s holding LilBit and making her laugh and smile. It’s watching the excitement on Boo’s face as I hand him a long awaited koala blanket or the grin on CB’s face as he mimics my phone’s infamous “alert!” It’s cutting a ton of snowflakes out of paper and the BCM and laughing at the bits all over the floor making it look like it snowed. It’s spending late nights with my Anna watching Merlin and swooning over Arthur. It’s sitting on Doodle’s bed listening to her talk excitedly about AG dolls and doll fashions. It’s surprising little girls with doll clothes or catching a rambunctious Warrior on camera. It’s all those little things, those half ignored moments, that I will cherish from this year. It’s the moments that would mean nothing to someone else that mean all the world to me. And I pray that God sends me many, many more of these moments in 2012.

SweetTart Holidays and Other Celebrations

Merry Christmas! Yes, I finally discovered a way to post pictures again. Here’s hoping it actually works. But anyways, here’s wishing yall a safe and Merry Christmas. May God bless this time for each and every one of you.

SweetTart Holidays and Other Celebrations

When I was in highschool Mama gave me a class every four years that was a Bible class. Many of these involved reading books, most of which I enjoyed and highly recommend. One year I read a book by Elizabeth Elliot called Passion and Purity. One of the things I remember reading in this book was how Elizabeth Elliot keep a little notebook book full of scripture, hymns, prayers, etc. She referred to it as her Omah of Truth. (Omah being the measurement of Manna that the Israelites gathered in the wilderness.) I thought this was a cool idea, but I never really intended to mimic it. For one thing, I have never been a journaler. I’ve tried to keep a diary a couple times, and I’ve even tried to journal as part of my quiet time. This blog is as close as I’ve gotten to a regular, personal account of any sort. (unless FB status updates count…) Anyways, I never thought I’d end up with my own little notebook. Then, last February, on Valentine’s Day (or sometime really close to it) I got really depressed. You can guess why I’m sure. I was being impatient. I wanted what God had not yet given me, but seemed to be giving to everyone else around me. It was a really hard time with me, because I wanted to be close to my God, to draw near to Him and to acknowledge Him as all I needed. But at the same time I was angry with Him. It seemed unfair to me that all my friends should be blessed with this thing, with this one thing that I longed for, hoped and dreamed for. I’ve always been a passive aggressive person, so depression over the issue was my response to this anger. My Daddy took me out that day. (I’m pretty sure it was Valentine’s Day, cause that was the day I was the most depressed) We went to Books-A-Million, one of my favorite places in the whole wide world. He just took me to hang out, I’m pretty sure we got coffee too, to try and get my mind off things. Anyways, we ended up in BAM and I spent a long time browsing the shelves and being generally nerdy, like I do every time I go there. I ended up looking at notebooks. There was a lot pent up in me that I wanted to let out, which I guess is why I ended up in that aisle. I wasn’t sure I wanted to talk to anyone about it, partly cause I’d tried and it hadn’t helped, but maybe I could write it down. I bought a little green notebook with a Celtic design on it that night. My frustrations and emotions and confusions and questions never went down in it as I had intended. But rather, the answers. Bible verses, song lyrics, and book quotes fill the first several pages. Anything that stuck out to me, that reminded me of what I already knew, has gotten written down for the past nine months. Many of them are along the same lines, God has called me to lead a certain life, God is my strength, my hope my deliverer, My heart and soul long for God and God alone. There are a few that are simply heartfelt cries of praise, or reminders of my call to purity. But they all revolve around God being all that I need, and that’s a thing that I seem to always forget. And so I have my own little book filled with the words that He uses to remind me.

SweetTart Faith

Well, today is Thanksgiving. So I just thought I’d share a little of what I’m thankful for this year.

First of all, I’m thankful for the rough spots. The ups and downs, the days of doubt. This past year has been full of them. Some have been worse than others, but they have all served the same purpose, to strengthen my faith. And because of that I’m thankful for them.

Second, I’m thankful that God gave me such an amazing college roommate. Seriously, I was really freaked out that I was going to get a horrible roommate. But Stephanie is absolutely amazing, and I feel really blessed to have her in my life.

Speaking of being blessed by people in my life, I’m thankful for all my college friends. They’re each awesome and I don’t think I could make it through some weeks without them. I’m thankful for all the time I get to spend with them.

I’m thankful for the rest of my friends too, especially my dear sisters, MaryAnna and Skittles. I love you both so much and can’t imagine my life without yall.

I’m thankful for having been homeschooled by such an amazing Mama. Seriously, I don’t think I could be doing well at all in college if it weren’t for her teaching.

I’m thankful for parents who will drop everything to come be with me when I need them. I’m thankful to have their love and support, and to know that no matter what happens a hug from my Daddy still makes the world seem right.

And on that note, I’m very thankful to have such a  loving and supportive church family. Seriously, yall are amazing. And God has shown me over the last couple months just how much of a blessing you guys are to me.

I’m thankful for siblings who are excited when I come home from school and make me feel loved and special and missed. And who have a sense of humor when it comes to what they’re thankful for. (someone around here is thankful for legs…)

I’m thankful for my boyfriend. And I’m thankful my Daddy  didn’t kill him when he asked to court me.

I’m thankful for the time God has given me. And for the revelation that such time is precious. I pray that He helps me use that time to His glory for the rest of my days.

SweetTart Holidays and Other Celebrations

Several weeks ago one of the most precious young woman I’ve had the pleasure of knowing was lost in a car accident. It’s taken me a while to get up the courage to write this down. Almost as if avoiding typing those words meant it hadn’t really happened. But it did, I know that. How could I not when for the last several weeks I have been living through the mourning, both my own and of my friends. It’s been hard, and it’s been especially hard for me to talk about it, or think about it. But I don’t think I’d be doing Rachel justice if I didn’t share the memories I have of her. I’ve wanted to write these down and share them for a while now, but I haven’t had the courage to, so here goes.

When I first met Rachel we were both in highschool. She graduated from my school a year before I did, but that’s not exactly how I met her. We were in 4-H together. If I remember correctly, I met her at a county competition, but I may have met her before that, I can’t actually remember. Anyways, that county competition is the first time I distinctly remember Rachel being there. I remember her smiling the entire night. And telling me I did a good job on my speech, which was a big deal to me since I was always really worried about those speeches.

Another memory I have of her came a year or two later. We were on regional/county councils together and had to do a skit for the county banquet. Rachel and I had to walk across at one point and say something about the early 4H clubs. Between us we couldn’t make it across the stage without laughing.

Rachel’s laugh and smile were special. They made you want to join in and share in her happiness. I don’t think I ever saw her when she wasn’t laughing and smiling. She was such a happy and encouraging person. Rachel was one of those people, that even if you didn’t see her for a while, you knew, that if you ever needed anything, she would be there to help. I don’t think anyone I’ve heard talk about her has gone unaffected by her life. Her love for her Savior, and her dedication to sharing that love with those around her is something that will always be remembered by those who knew her. Rachel’s life was a blessing to those around her and she will be sorely missed.

The last time I saw Rachel she was coming out of Main with Jess and Lacie. I was coming back from Spanish and when the saw me, Jess demanded I come give her a hug. I laughed and told her to wait a minute. She told me to run. I said I couldn’t. I was wearing my new black boots. Rachel laughed and called them my hooker boots. We all laughed about it for a few minutes as I gave Jess her hug. And then they left, to go where, I don’t know. But a day hasn’t gone by since that I haven’t wondered, if I had known I would never see her again, would I have done anything different in that moment? If I had known how special that moment would become to me, how would I have behaved? I suppose it doesn’t matter now, but I don’t think I will ever be able to wear those boots without thinking of them as hooker boots and remembering Rachel’s smile as she said it. And Rachel’s smile is something I pray that I never, ever forget.

SweetTart friends

Is very much fun. Very muchly exhausting. And very satisfying.

I love my classes, love my roommate, and love my professors. Is that to love fest for you? Well here’s what I don’t love: eight o’clock classes, caf food and UM parking. I do, however, love the fact that we just got our very own Starbucks on campus. In my Mama’s words “bye bye flex points.” lol.

So what’s new with me? Welp. I turn eighteen next week. I’ve discovered that driving ranges are super fun, water pitchers can fit in freezers, eating cereal for lunch might be considered weird, you say really strange things at 2AM (”Oh my gosh! I think I just inhaled a goldfish” for instance) Proverbs 31:6-7, I had a lot of free time in highschool, baby dolls are creepy, when you’re on a caffeine high no one knows what to do with  you, ping pong is dangerous, heels are detrimental when you’re parked on the other side of campus, and all my sketchbooks are tiny compared to my drawing pad. Also, I’m dying my hair blonde this weekend (if I remember to take the dye with me) and my brother (Indy) is even more confusing over FB then he is in person.

Oh and all that drama in highschool I thought I avoided by being homeschooled? Yeah right. It’s here. Totally here. Majorly here. Ugh. Really praying our group is over it now.

If your mom happens to bring you and your friends lunch she is declared the most amazing mom ever. But don’t make the mistake of telling her not to bring dessert. You’ll get in trouble, trust me.

THat’s all I can think of right now, so until next time, TURTLES!

SweetTart College Life

Move in day. Is tomorrow. TOMORROW!!!!!

Am I nervous? Yes.

Am I excited? YES!

Am I ready? Didn’t I say I was tired of hear that question?

Am I packed? Nearly.

Do I have everything I need? Well my magical powers still haven’t show up…jk. I’m going shopping after lunch for the last few things.

AM I trying desperately to finish reading GG3 and soak in as much Zach Goode-ness without read GG4 (I have no time to, plus I don’t actuall have it checked out) before college? YES!!!!!!!

So why am I blogging instead of reading?? Um, because I wanted yal to know I’m moving tomorrow.

Was I Am Number Four a good book? YES!!!!!!

Do I find it weird that I’m making up questions to ask myself and answering them? Kind of…

Am I done now? Yep. I’m done.

SweetTart Books, College Life, Me The Non-Blonde Version

When you become a Senior in highschool there is a little question that everyone in the world is going to ask you every day you’re out in public until you have officially started your Freshman year of college. It consists of three little, seemingly harmless words, “are you ready?” First it’s “are you ready to graduate?” then it’s “are you ready to start college?” And pretty soon it’s just flat out tiresome, if not annoying. I seriously cannot wait for the last time it’ll be asked, which will probably be when I’m all packed and loaded to go to campus and Mama asks “are you ready?” And then I’m going to have to say yes, whether I’m ready or not. So yeah, steal yousrself, cause it’s coming. Are you ready?

SweetTart College Life, Me The Non-Blonde Version

…A music post!!!!!

SweetTart Music